I'm not racist i have a color tv! how did you know?? i was living with a *racist* wife.
Mum: why is your brother running so much? me: he's just really into bikes
What's the difference between a duck? one of its legs is both the same.
A man walks into a bar... i'll just have a beer and a mop
I bet the first man to ever erect a penis felt like he was in a movie.
Why did the chicken cross the road? because north korean missiles are always fired
How do you make a hormone? don't pay her
Why was the octopus so angry? he was having a bae fight.
I'm not sure if it's weird or creepy but I always think "Wow, this guy is interesting."
My wife and i decided to have kids... ...for lunch, and then she gave birth to her son.
Why did the chicken cross the road? i don't know, ask your mother
What do you call a girl with no legs? disabled.
It's a bunch of hot water, so it's not really a no-brainer
Just remember that whatever you put up with, you end up with when you overeat