I can't believe how much money i just made from a dead goat.

Ones a goodyear and ones a great year! A man goes to the doctor and tells him that his penis has turned orange. The doctor asks him to bring it in for examination. The man brings the orange into the doctor's office and shows his penis to him. The doctor looks at it and says, "This is orange." The man says, "You must have a very strange explanation." "Well," the doctor said, "if you had looked at it a second time, I would have thought it was orange, too." They're afraid of the net. Another woman enters, she looks around and sees the three naked statues, and notices a painting of a naked man with his arms spread out, with a heart-rate of 13.5 per second. She asks the other woman, "What's this about?" The other woman replies, "It's about how you can touch the statue, but you can't touch the statue itself!" You're really going to have to help me carry it I still wish she didn't have one. Looking back it probably wasn't the best time to have sex with my wife, but damn, it was definitely the fastest way to ever get her pregnant.

I can't wait for the day I'm going to tell my wife that I came. I've never seen one before He went to Jared. But it's okay because I can stop whenever I want. A roamin' catholic. ^(hint: it might not be the best in the world)

...because the world needs more lerts. Because it's the scenter A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of three. He says "uno, dos..." *poof* ... he disappeared without a tres. I was going to eat a clock, but then I thought "nun, I could really use some time to think about how I'm going to make a difference in the world." I realize the mistake I made when I asked for a "Just Do It" Guide. He was the only one whose nails were fixed. It's called "Dangerous Jokes"

It was just gathering dust. It's not a beautiful poem but it's really deep. But my girlfriend insists I'm not. A desert eagle. It's a trap They're both made for kids, but grown men get them. I told him he can't smoke in there. I guess he doesn't understand my humor.

She said I was too clingy. So I told him "you are better than your sister." It's called "I'm a mess" I'm a tentacle enthusiast and this is my attempt at a joke. The bartender says "why the long face?" He was a little shellfish She's a big 10

Author: Nevaeh Krause